Vu Le is basically my favorite super hero. I am in awe of what he has and continues to build with Nonprofit AF and Crappy Funding Practices. I’ve read every newsletter or article that Vu has sent out since I first encountered his work, and I will try to attend any talk, webinar, or workshop he is a part of. He is a rockstar and I am a groupie.

And now another disclosure about me: I did not vote for Donald Trump, but I took no joy in voting for Kamala Harris. I am completely disillusioned by the democratic party and most of its politicians.

Vu’s latest article about moving from despair to righteous anger now just two weeks post-election provoked many deep feelings in me. Much of the article still brought up a well of fear-feelings, which was uncomfortable and unnerving to say the least. I’ve had lots of fear-based reactions around this election before reading the article, and I use a lot of my self-reflection and meditation time to help me not be overwhelmed by the fear. Reading the article made that a very hard task indeed. What happened for me was that the fear became a bit overwhelming, just enough to make it very difficult for me to feel other things, like righteous anger.

The most powerful parts of Vu’s article for me were the parts that were true 4 years ago, 8 years ago, 12 years ago, and so on, regardless of government influence and money concerns. That nonprofits in at least some ways are not using imaginative and innovative approaches to social justice work, leaving many organizations stuck in old structures that are long-cemented as the status quo. That could use some shaking up. We need to radically challenge the status quo in many areas of our work, and in the structure of our work and organizations overall. I am DOWN for radical changes in our sector that lead to radically achieving our missions.

I would like to humbly submit an addition to Vu’s article, not to change anything that Vu wrote, but to suggest another space and approach to help move from despair to righteous anger and action. I have to admit, I’m nervous and feel almost radical myself talking about this addition, and both worried about the kind of response I might get to it, as well as excited about the possibility of opening up conversation about it. More than anything I yearn to talk about this with people without fear or righteous anger, and with patience and empathy.

The addition is this: that there is a pervading societal construct and influence exerting on humanity, particularly in the United States but across the globe as well, to operate from an “us vs. them” mentality which we must not give in to and that we must actively work against.

When I first started my nonprofit career back in 2011, it was practically taboo for a “liberal” or “someone on the left” or maybe even a “democrat” to have an “us vs. them” mentality. That was divisive, it was tearing us apart, it helped racism persist and grow, it failed to recognize the humanity in each other. It caused wars.

I don’t even mind putting a heap of the blame for how deep this is affecting us on Donald Trump, for scorching the earth and paving the way. But the unfortunate thing is that this mentality has spread and become pervasive across all political parties and all other kinds of differences about us. Donald Trump isn’t the only factor in this. And regardless of how we got here, we have to claw our way out of it.

How?

I have no hard and fast answers to this. What I can offer here is only to share how I am attempting to do it for myself. I am sharing some statements that have become part of my belief system and have helped me fight the “us vs. them” mentality that I can feel nipping at the back of my neck, looking for a way in. Some of these statements might feel radical or uncomfortable or naive or uninformed or something else less than agreeable. But I ask you to read them with an open heart and with curiosity over judgment.

1. Most (really most) of the people who voted for Donald Trump did it with love in their hearts, not hate.
2. The people who do let hate motivate their actions are in their own pain and misery, and they deserves healing from that.
3. I have more in common with most people who voted for Donald Trump than I have differences that would cause an irreparable and irredeemable rift between us.
4. At times when it feels like politicians personally hate me for my gender, my sex, my sex life, my family, the way my children were conceived, they way they are raised, our religious activities, etc. - I should remember that these people do NOT know me personally and therefore cannot hate me personally. My experience and the experiences of many others has shown me the transformative power of relationships and love on even the deepest held beliefs. It can truly change hearts and minds when the path to change seems insurmountable, and we should keep it as a prominent and prevalent tool in our work for social justice and humanity. Focusing on relationship building and love with people who have vastly different experiences and political choices to me is worth every minute of it, even when it is hard and can be hurtful and scary. If a personal relationship can effect a positive change in anyone’s viewpoints, it is worth it all and more.
5. This will not be possible every day for every person. This will not be possible to happen every day. This work requires long amounts of time, consistency, and many shared experiences. I am allowed to take days off.
6. I can feel righteous anger and love at the same time, even when both of those emotions are directed at the same person or institution or country. It is imperative that I not let fear or righteous anger guide me in my relationships, especially in relationships with people from whom I differ greatly.

Again, this is all suggesting an addition to and riff on Vu’s excellent and true article about righteous anger and action. Yes move away from fear. Yes demand better funding practices, yes drastically change what our nonprofits look like and how they are operating. AND yes to fighting the “us vs. them” mentality. As Vu quoted Desmond Tutu in his article, righteous anger is in fact rooted in love. We can tune that up to a high frequency when we are building relationships with people who are different from us, hold different values or beliefs, and who voted differently than us (that is the collective “us” - I’m not aligning the “us” moniker to any particular “us” group that voted any particular way).

Another article that I read recently provoked a similar fear reaction in me and spoke bluntly about about how fatalistic the United States can be seen as now. But in this article the central message is for us to find our ways back to each other. It contains much of the same message that I am trying to make with this article. To see that “many people” - and it is important to look inward at this as well “have completely abandoned the necessity, impulse, and notion that caring for one another is what will help us all collectively and individually thrive.” The article includes themes from Vu’s article when it says “[t]rue anti-fascist organizing cannot and will not rely on leveraging the systems already in place, people ‘working from the inside,’ and the tools that are viewed as palatable by those who lead us.” And it has some beautiful one-liners that I wish I had written, like “[w]e will have to break free of the present condition of things, discomfort ourselves and those around us, and bring people together in ways that will be seen as an actual threat to the current social order” and that this should include “a new level of consciousness and solidarity across the differences our leaders use to divide us.”

At the recent Nonprofit New York Annual Conference the keynote speaker (Rickke Manzala, President of the New York Foundation) ended with a quote that feels appropriate to end this writing with as well:

“Kindness eases change.

Love quiets fear.

And a sweet and powerful

Positive obsession

Blunts pain,

Diverts rage,

And engages each of us

In the greatest,

The most intense

Of our chosen struggles.”

― Octavia E. Butler, Parable of the Talents

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